


My Time Finally Can Come To An End

by MistbornHero



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Based around that scene where Merlin meets the Fisher King, Episode: S03e08 The Eye of the Phoenix, Gen, No Dialogue, Not Beta Read, Not even proofread tbh, Sad Merlin, Suicidal Thoughts, Waiting, he's just v sad and old and Tired, i guess, it's just him thinking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-29 17:02:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13931424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistbornHero/pseuds/MistbornHero
Summary: Merlin is waiting, and thinking back on the Fisher King.





	My Time Finally Can Come To An End

**Author's Note:**

> Posted on tumblr with my gif set here  
> Mostly moved here because of @fifty-5ty and @spiritofcamelot saying that I should post it lol.

Some days (months? years?) are easier than others. He meets people, some who are great, some who aren’t that great. People who seek him out to learn of the ways of the past, and teach his the ways of the present. Merlin likes that he’s still alive when that’s happening. It’s not the same as being with Arthur, but he could almost say he is happy.

Until they are gone, like everyone else.

When they are gone, he sometimes sits down, meaning to get up soon, only to find himself washing the cobwebs off his hands the next time he stands. It’s not even that he lost track of time, like the times he’s managed to sleep for a full week. No. Every second feels painfully long and heavy. Merlin knows he has to get up, that Arthur wouldn’t like to hear how he spent a decade under dust. But the past is too much and the future is too far and even the thought of moving feels impossible.

Merlin thinks of the Fisher King then. Remembers his words, his prophesies of his future, the pain in his voice when he asked to die. How he got up from his throne one final time so that he could receive the gift of death. Merlin wonders if that would be him now, were he to feel someone else come rise to power. He wonders if it’s worth it, to get up to figure a way to use the little magic in the world to do it himself.

He doesn’t know anymore if he’s waiting for his King, or just waiting for death.

He thinks of Arthur again. Their last moments together. How he had thanked him for all he had done like it was the most important thing to do before he died. Merlin thinks of being with him. Cohabiting the palace, doing the most awful of chores just because heasked him to.  _Living_.

Merlin gets up again, he hopes the time is just a little bit closer.

**Author's Note:**

> Now just imagine that Arthur comes back and they live happily ever after okay???  
> I'd like to say I'll write it, but even if I did, I'd probably hate it and bury it with 99% of fic related things I've written.
> 
> If you want to talk/yell at me for this either comment or find me @MistbornHero on [Tumblr](http://mistbornhero.tumblr.com/) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/MistbornHero)


End file.
